Monday, June 16, 2014

Do You Believe in Soulmates?

 I read this great blog post the other day that I found on (where else?) Pinterest. In it, the writer says that her husband isn't her soulmate. At first, I thought it must be a pretty cynical take on relationships, but as I read on, it was really eye-opening. I love this part:

"I love my husband. I think he’s pretty awesome or I wouldn’t have married him and had some babies with him. He makes my life more interesting, makes me better, and loves me even when I’m not very lovable (which is a lot of the time). I picked a good one, for sure. And I’m glad he’s in my life.

But if I hadn’t met him, I think my life would still be pretty good. I wasn’t waiting for someone else to come along and rescue me from my horrible existence. I had a good existence before him."

I love that! She talks about how the idea of a "soulmate" is a lot of pressure to put on one person. And she's so right: to me the idea that one person out there is supposed to fill some sort of void not only puts a lot of pressure on any relationship I might have, but seems like an unfair burden to place on myself. How am I supposed to be good at my job, nurture relationships with friends and family, create a complete life for myself if there really is one person that my whole future is supposed to revolve around? If that's true, I should be actively and exhaustively searching for this person around the clock because there are a lot of people out there.

You always hear that you are supposed to stop looking for someone and that's when someone will appear in your life; I've always thought that sounded like when people tell you not to think of a pink elephant...what's the first thing you think of? It makes a whole lot more sense to craft a life that you actually want and love than to end up with a life built around one person because, let's face it, people aren't always around forever, but you have to live your life for a pretty long time.

The post gets a little religious at the end, but if that isn't your thing, there is still a lot to be gained from it. In my opinion, this is an excellent message for us to share with girls, not to make them cynical, but to encourage them to seek their own life, rather than half of one so that someone else can swoop in and "complete" it. Rather than taking away the "magic" of love, I think this pulls back the curtain and reveals something that is, to me, is more desirable because it actually looks and sounds real.

What do you think? Do you believe in soulmates?


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